Saturday, March 31, 2007

Sometimes, You Cannot Even Take Yourself With You. After-Lives of Celebrity Organs.
A row over an exhibition that displays the brain of an Italian anarchist has reignited a wider debate about what happens to the bodies of the famous after their deaths. Andy McSmith offers a cut-off-and-keep guide to what's where.
The anarchist's brain.
Giovanni Passannante did not have much going for him. He was a cook who became an anarchist, and decided to assassinate King Umberto I on a visit to Naples in 1878. He lunged at him with a kitchen knife, missed, and injured the Prime Minister. Jailed for life, he went insane after a decade in chains in an underground cell, and died in an asylum in 1910, aged 60. His pickled brain, on display in Rome's crime museum, is now the centre of a political row. The Deputy Prime Minister, Francesco Rutelli, and the writer Dario Fo are among the eminent Italians calling for the organ to be returned for a decent burial in Passannante's native hilltop village of Savoia di Lucania. It is, in fact, scheduled to return to Savoia on 11 May. But the mayor, Rosina Ricciardi, wants it kept on display as a tourist attraction.
Einstein's brain.
One of the finest brains of the 20th century was removed from its owner's skull - with his prior consent - less than seven hours after Einstein's death in 1955. It remained with Thomas Harvey, the doctor who removed it, and for three decades was the subject of rumour and controversy rather than study. Finally, in the Eighties and Nineties, the brain was studied at various US universities. One study, published in 1999, compared it with the brains of 35 other men and 56 women. Einstein's brain turned out to be 15 per cent wider than average, because the region that controls mathematical calculation and the ability to think in terms of space and movement was unusually large. Most people have a groove running through this part of the brain, but not Einstein. This may have speeded up communications between neurons. What remains of Albert Einstein's brain is now at Princeton Hospital in New Jersey. His eyes, meanwhile, are thought to be in a safe deposit box in New York.
Sarah Bernhardt's leg.
The "Divine Sarah" was more than 60 years old when she injured her right knee leaping off the parapet in the final scene of Tosca, while on tour in South America. Ten years later, in 1915, gangrene had set in, and her right leg had to be amputated. She faced the operation with astounding courage, refusing to let it end her acting career; she was filming when she died in 1923. Following the operation, she set off to visit soldiers on the front line. There are various stories about her amputated leg, most of which are probably myths. However, one appears to be true. During her recuperation, she had an offer from the manager of the Pan-American Exposition in San Francisco of £100,000 for the right to exhibit the leg. She replied, by cable: "Which leg?" The current whereabouts of the right one are unknown.
Oliver Cromwell's head.
Oliver Cromwell was buried in style in 1658, but upon the restoration of the monarchy in 1660, his body was removed from Westminster Abbey. He was ritually hanged as a regicide, and his head stuck on a pole in Westminster Hall. It was still there in 1684, but disappeared. The wind may have blown it down, but somebody apparently retrieved it as a trophy. In the 1770s, an actor named Samuel Russell was offering a head for sale, claiming it was Cromwell's. It passed into private hands, and was exhibited in 1799 at Mead Court, off Bond Street. In 1814, it was bought by Josiah Wilkinson, one of whose heirs, Canon Horace Wilkinson, allowed two scientists to examine it. Their 100-page report, published in 1935, concluded that it was genuinely Cromwell's. The head was buried in Cambridge in 1960. No one knows what happened to the body.
Thomas Hardy's heart.
When the great writer died, in January 1928, an argument over whether he should have a national or local funeral ended in compromise. His ashes are in Poets' Corner, Westminster Abbey, next to Charles Dickens's, while in St Michael's Church, Stinsford, Dorset, there is a gravestone marked: "Here Lies the Heart of Thomas Hardy". The heart was apparently removed by a local surgeon, wrapped in a towel, and placed overnight in a biscuit tin found in the Hardys' kitchen. A legend instantly sprang up, apparently started by one of the domestic staff, that the cat, Cobweb, had prised the lid off the tin and eaten Hardy's heart. The heart in the grave is allegedly a pig's. Years later, the tin turned up, and on it there is an illustration of a kitten catching a bird, with the caption "In disgrace" - which may or may not have been what gave the rumour-monger the idea.
St Anthony's tongue.
Work on the beautiful Basilica of St Anthony, in Padua, began in 1238, seven years after the death of the saint who was so eloquent that fish in the river Marecchia, in Rimini, are said to have once leapt out the waves to hear him preach. When the time came, 25 years later, to transfer the saint's coffin to the centre of the Basilica, it was opened and the faithful were astonished to see that his tongue had not decomposed. St Bonaventure is said to have exclaimed: "O blessed tongue, you have always praised the Lord and led others to praise him! Now we can clearly see how great indeed have been your merits." The tongue is now on display in the Basilica's Treasury Chapel, alongside the saint's lower jaw and cartilage of the larynx. It is, according to the guide book, "a perennial miracle, unique in history and full of religious significance".
Napoleon's 'shrivelled object'.
In 1969, the London auction house Christie's included in its catalogue an item enigmatically described as a "shrivelled object" about an inch long and looking like a shrivelled eel, which they failed to sell. In no time, the story was out that the object in question had - allegedly - been sliced from the corpse of Napoleon Bonaparte after his death on St Helena. Abbot Ange Vignali, who administered extreme unction to the fallen emperor and officiated at his funeral, had kept a few souvenirs - knives, forks, a silver cup and (according to Napoleon's manservant, Ali) a small part of Napoleon's person. Ali did not say which part. The Vignali collection changed ownership more than once, and, after a further sale in Paris in 1977, the part in question ended up in private hands - those of a leading New York urologist, John K Lattimer. Whether the object is what people think is open to doubt - but not for one red-top newspaper, which reported Christie's failure to make a sale in 1969 under the headline "Not Tonight, Josephine!"
Rasputin's less 'shrivelled object'.
Known as the Mad Monk, Grigori Rasputin tramped out of the Russian steppes and charmed his way into the Imperial Court. The Tsar and Tsarina, Nicholas and Alexandra, were desperately concerned for their only son, who had haemophilia. Rasputin could stop the boy bleeding. He also preached a strange brand of Christianity, through which a woman could achieve salvation by sleeping with a holy man and many noble ladies are rumoured to have sampled this route to heaven. That part of Rasputin which saved so many female souls went on display in 2004, in St Petersburg's first museum of erotica. "We can stop envying America, where Napoleon's is now kept," the museum crowed. "Napoleon's is but a small pod: it cannot stand comparison to our organ of 30 centimetres."
Ronald Kray's brain.
Ronald Kray's brain was removed and kept - according to the official explanation - because it was "still subject to an investigation to establish the cause of death". This is a puzzling explanation because, unlike certain East End thugs who had fallen foul of the Kray twins, Ronald died of natural causes in bed, at Wexham Park Hospital, Slough. During 27 years in prison and mental homes he had taken to smoking 100 cigarettes a day, and his heart gave out. The family later discovered that Ronnie's brain was in a jar on a shelf at the hospital. The Krays' MP, Harry Cohen, suspected that it was being kept as a curio, rather than for any forensic purpose, and raised the issue in the Commons. The brain was released and given a separate funeral; it is now buried next to its owner.
Alistair Cooke's bones.
The venerated British journalist Alistair Cooke died in March 2004, aged 95. He had continued broadcasting his weekly Letter from America on Radio 4 almost to the day he died, and it was in America that he was cremated. His ashes were scattered in Central Park - or so everyone thought. But when New York police closed in on a group of rogue morticians who had been doing a trade in body tissue, they announced that Cooke's bones had been carved out before he was handed back to the family, and sold for $7,000 (£3,500) for use in transplants. It is likely that there are people in New York walking around with traces of Alistair Cooke in their bones. Apart from the appalling distress felt by Cooke's family, this is also a health hazard, because by the end his bones were cancerous.

Quotes from Mark Twain, 1835-1910

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."
"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."
"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval."
"Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper."
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."
"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."
"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
"Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough."
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
"By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean."
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."
"Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain."
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
"Don't part with your illusions. when they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."
"Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't."
"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."
"Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time."
"Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it."
"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place."
"I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position."
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it."
"I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way."
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
"I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting."
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know."
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language."
"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination."
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."
"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress."
"It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them."
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."
"It is easier to stay out than get out."
"It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you."
"It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."
"It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race."
"It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it."
"Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it."
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
"Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."
"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."
"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up."
"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."
"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."
"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them."
"The report of my death was an exaggeration."
"There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry."
"There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice."
"There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact."
"Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours."
"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
"Truth is more of a stranger than fiction."
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."
"Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody."
"We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read."
"When in doubt, tell the truth."
"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."
"When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one."
"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform."
"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."

Erasmus



Erasmus was born with the name Gerrit Gerritszoon (Dutch for Gerhard Gerhardson) in or about 1466, probably in Rotterdam. Although associated closely with this city, he lived there for only four years, never to return. Information on his family and early life comes mainly from vague references in his writings. He was almost certainly illegitimate. His father later became a priest named Roger Gerard. Little is known of his mother other than her name was Margaret and she was the daughter of a physician. Despite being illegitimate, Erasmus was cared for by his parents until their early deaths from the plague in 1483 and was then given the best education available to a young man of his day, in a series of monastic or semi-monastic schools. While at a Augustinian monetary at Steyn around 1487, Erasmus fell in love with a fellow monk, Servatius Rogerus, whom he called "half my soul", writing, "I have wooed you both unhappily and relentlessly.
"Ordination and monastic experience. In 1492, he was ordained to the Catholic priesthood and reluctantly took vows as an Augustinian canon at about the age of 25, but he never seems to have actively worked as a priest, and monasticism was one of the chief objects of his attack in his lifelong assault upon Church excesses. Soon after his priestly ordination, he got his chance to leave the monastery when offered the post of secretary to the Bishop of Cambray, Henry of Bergen, on account of his great skill in Latin and his reputation as a man of letters. He was given a temporary dispensation due to his poor health, dislike of monks and love of humanistic studies. Pope Leo X later made the dispensation permanent.

Some of His Adages:
Make haste slowly.
One step at a time
You're in the same boat.
To lead one by the nose
A rare bird
Even a child can see it.
To have one foot in Charon's boat (we now say "...in the grave")
To walk on tiptoe
One to one
Out of tune
A point in time
I gave as bad as I got (we reversed it to "good", even though we mean "bad")
To call a spade a spade
Hatched from the same egg
Up to both ears (we use "up to his eyeballs")
As though in a mirror
Think before you start
What's done cannot be undone
Many parasangs ahead (we say, "miles ahead")
We cannot all do everything
Many hands make light work
A living corpse
Where there's life, there's hope
To cut to the quick
Time reveals all things
Golden handcuffs
Crocodile tears
To show the middle finger (yes, it meant the same thing back then)
You have touched the issue with a needle-point (we say, you have nailed it)
To walk the tightrope
Time tempers grief (we say, time heals all wounds)
With a fair wind
To dangle the bait
To swallow the hook
The bowels of the earth
From heaven to earth
The dog is worthy of his dinner
To weigh anchor
To grind one's teeth
Nowhere near the mark
Complete the circle
In the land of the blind, one eyed man is king
A cough for a fart (To attempt to cover up an error)
No sooner said than done
Neither with bad things nor without them (Women: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em)Between a stone and a shrine. (between a rock and a hard place)
Like teaching an old man a new language (Can't teach an old dog new tricks)